


Madagascar

by 2018fordfocus



Category: Madagascar (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21995167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2018fordfocus/pseuds/2018fordfocus
Summary: Basically the first Madagascar movie but if they were humans and was for adults. First few chapters stick to canon, diverges later.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As the summary says, basically Madagascar but more adult and more realistic! Don’t know what the uploading schedule will be like, but I hope to update quickly.

The sky glows a brilliant yellow of a rising sun. The grass is green, the palm trees tall. A wild yell is heard, followed by a man swinging from a vine. He sails majestically through the air, his dreadlocks flowing behind him, dark skin glimmering in the light. He lands on one foot and runs through a choir of young kids, who each run away in a perfect diagonal pattern. 

The man takes a running leap and jumps over a cliff, landing softly on the other side and continuing running. From behind a bush a man emerges, looking after the other man with hunger and madness in his eyes. His blond hair and blue eyes look ruffled and crazed. 

The white man starts creeping after the black man, then begins a full on sprint, both running towards the water, the glistening, glorious water…

“SURPRISE!”

The man yells as he falls backwards off of his treadmill. 

“Alex,” he says. “Do not interrupt me when I’m daydreaming! When a black man’s in the zone, leave him alone.”

“Marty,” the white man, Alex, says. “Happy birthday!”

“Oh, thanks man,” Marty says. 

“Hey, uh, looks like I have something stuck in my tooth,” Alex says, rubbing his cheek. “It’s driving me crazy, can you help me out here?”

“Well, you came to the right place man, Dr. Marty, DDS, in the house,” replies Marty. “Step onto my sterilized examination table, if you would.”

Alex hops up onto the dresser in Marty’s room, opening his mouth wide. 

“I don’t see anything,” Marty says, poking around in his friend’s mouth. After a few seconds of examination, he finds the object. 

“What the heck is this doing in there,” he exclaims, holding a miniature snow globe with Alex’s likeness in it in his hand. 

“Happy birthday!” Alex exclaims.

“Oh, thanks man, you hid it behind the tooth!” Marty replies. “You’re alright.”

“You’re thirty years old man,” Alex says, jumping around on the dresser. “Double digits! Three times! The big 3-0!”

Marty looks forlornly at the snow globe. 

“You don’t like it,” Alex asks. 

“What, no man, it’s great,” his friend replies. 

“Ugh, you hate it! I knew I should have gotten the alarm clock,” Alex responds. 

“No no man, the present’s great, really,” Marty says, placing it on his nightstand where a stack of Alex memorabilia sits. “It’s just that, well, the years come and go, and I’m still here doing the same old thing. Work over there, come back home, eat some sushi, walk back to work.” 

“I see your problem,” Alex says as Marty says, “Maybe I should go to law school.”

“You need to break out of that boring routine, change up your life,” Alex says, continuing to walk on the dresser despite its creaking. “Throw out the old act, who knows what you’re gonna do, improv, just out there!”

“Improv,” Marty questions.

“You know, make it fresh.”

“Alright,” replies Marty. “I can do fresh.”

The grandfather clock in their living room chimes eight times, alerting them that they have to get to work.

“People, people Marty,” Alex cheers. “I love the people!”

He runs out of Marty’s room and into Gloria’s, another of their friends and roommates. Alex hops onto her bed and yells at her to wake up. 

She slowly opens her eyes, groaning at the comedian’s energy. 

“Mm, what day is it,” she asks. 

“It‘a Friday, comedy day,” he says cheerfully. 

“Yes, it’s comedy day, let’s get up and...go,” Gloria says, feigning enthusiasm. “Ten more minutes.”

Alex swings around the corner to Melman’s room, running towards the bathroom where the tall man will inevitably be. 

“Melman Melman Melman,” Alex sings as he pounds on the door. “Rise and shine, get ready for a Friday in the Big Apple!”

“I’m calling in sick,” Melman says in his wavery voice. He comes out of the bathroom and lifts the shoulder of his shirt. “I’ve got another brown spot on my shoulder, see, right there, right there.”

“Melman, you know it’s all in your head,” Alex says before dashing away. 

After getting ready, the four roommates leave their apartment and walk towards the comedy club where they all work. Marty is an announcer, Gloria an usher, Melman a lighting technician, and of course Alex “The Lion” is the star of the show. 

In the club, an older man grabs a bagel and coffee and a newspaper and slaps another man awake, then hands him the coffee. 

In the evening, Marty says“Oh I’m gonna be fresh, freshalicious, super fresh” as he drinks from an Alex The Lion Tumbler and spits it out. “Ziploc fresh!”

He adjusts his bow tie and steps onto the stage, looking at the waiting crowd. 

Backstage, Alex pumps himself up, and as Marty says the words out loud, Alex whispers along. 

“Alex The Lion!”

Alex steps onto the stage, and immediately the audience cheers. He tells his award winning jokes as his fans yell and cheer. 

The jokes continue, while outside, a group of four tuxedo wearing men stand in a line. They each hold buckets for people to drop money into and wave and talk to the crowds of people walking outside. 

“Just smile and wave boys,” the short, muscular man instructs. “Soon we’ll have enough money to blow this popsicle stand.”

They continue begging for money.

“Well you’re not gonna find that anywhere else folks,” Marty says after Alex finishes his act. “I’ll be here 365 days a year for the rest of my life, including holidays, Christmas, Hanukkah, Halloween, Kwanza…”

He trails off, looking forlorn. 

The doors open, and the tuxedoed men walk inside.

“You,” the leader barks, making Marty look at him. “Got any cash for our...charity?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” Marty says, dumping a few coins into one of their buckets. “What are you guys doing this for anyway?”

“We’re raising money for the poor children of Australia,” the leader says. “By going there ourselves.”

“Going there yourselves,” Marty responds. “Seems kinda unnecessary to me.”

“Just think of it as a sabbatical,” says the leader. “We’re helping ourselves so we can help others more effectively.”

“Good excuse Skipper,” the youngest looking one says softly.

“Thank you Private, I try,” Skipper replies.

“A sabbatical huh,” Marty says, the gears turning in his head. 

“It’s extremely necessary for a human’s sanity,” Skipper says. “You ever see any worker looking happy? Of course not, because they don’t take sabbaticals. It’s a conspiracy I’m tellin ya.”

Marty looks away from the short man and looks blankly at the distance. 

“People actually take sabbaticals,” he says absently.

The tuxedoed men begin to walk away, but Marty yells, “Hey! How do I go on one! Where do you work?!”

“Our flight leaves tomorrow morning,” states Skipper. “How about you buy yourself a ticket and come with us. But I didn’t say that.”

They leave the club. 

“Hey man, you ready to go,” Alex says as he walks up behind him.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, let’s go home,” replies Marty. 

The friends sit around their kitchen table as Marty opens his first present. 

“A thermometer,” he exclaims. “Thanks Melman!”

“Yeah, I wanted to give you something personal. You know, that was my first-

“Wait a sec, you used this thing,” Marty responds. “Gross!” He spits it out and vigorously scrapes his tongue.

As he’s heaving in the corner, the other three begin singing the birthday song. 

“Aw come on, you guys are just embarrassing me, and yourselves,” he says. 

Gloria holds up the cake and says, “Make a wish babycakes!”

Marty thinks for a moment, then blows out the candle and shoves his face into the candle. 

“What’d you wish for,” Alex asks as he munches on a sausage. 

“Nah man, that’s bad luck,” says Marty. “That’s extra bad luck, if you want some bad luck in here, not my problem. 

“Oh come on, would you just tell us,” Gloria says as Melman nods in agreement. 

“Okay,” Marty replies. “I wish, I could go...on a sabbatical!”

“WHAT,” Alex exclaims and falls off the counter. Melman begins choking on his thermometer.

“I told you it was bad luck,” says Marty as Gloria gives Melman the heimlich. 

“A sabbatical! That’s the worst idea ever Marty,” yells Alex. “We all have great jobs and you want to leave them?!”

“Those guys standing out front looking for charity are going, why can’t I?”

“Those guys are psychotic,” replies Alex. 

“Come on, just imagine reconnecting with nature, rediscovering yourself,” Marty says. 

“We have everything we need right here,” replies Alex. 

“But I-“

“Shush, shush,” Alex says, waving a sausage in Marty’s face. “Where would you even go?”

“I don’t know, Connecticut?”

“What does Connecticut offer us that New York doesn’t,” Alex questions.”

“Lyme disease,” Melman interjects.

“Thank you,” Alex replies. 

Marty tries to say something, but Alex continues cutting him off. 

“Doesn’t it bother you that you guys don’t know anything about life outside of New York City,” Marty asks. 

“Nope.”

“No.”

“Nope.”

Marty crosses his arms and goes to his room.

“What’s eating him,” Melman whispers. 

“I think he doesn’t like the snow globe,” Alex responds.

“Goodnight Marty,” Gloria says as she heads to her room.

“Night Gloria,” Marty says despondently as he walks on the treadmill. 

Alex begins heading to his room, then goes into Marty’s and lies on the dresser. 

“Listen, Marty, everyone has days where they think the grass is greener on the other side,” the comedian says. 

“Alex, I’m thirty years old, my young adult life is almost over,” replies Marty.

Alex is silent for a moment, then says, “Heyyy, I’m thinking of a song right now.”

“Oh come on man,” Marty says, but he is interrupted by Alex belting out,

“Dah dah dahdahdah, dah dah dahdah, start my life anew, I’m leaving today…”

Marty doesn’t respond, just rolls his eyes. 

“Come on Marty, I know you know the words,” Alex prompts.

Marty rolls his eyes and opens his mouth, and he and Alex belt, “New York, New Yorrrrkkk!”

“Shut up, I’m sleeping here,” a neighbor yells.

“How about you be quiet for once,” another shouts.

“See, we make a great team,” Alex says to Marty. “What are you gonna do anyways, run off to another continent by yourself?”

“Nope,” Marty states. “I’m taking you with me!”

“What,” Alex says. 

“Come on man, you and me, just walk up to Grand Central Station, take an Amtrak down south…”

Alex stares at his friend, then Marty clears his throat and says, “I’m joking.”

Alex breathes a sigh of relief and heads to his room. 

Marty tells him goodnight, then walks to his window and stares out at the city. 


	2. Stayin’ Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s a little shorter than the first one, but I think it’s fine where it is. Slight canon divergence starts now.

“Yeah I like a little fat on my girls, more pedal for the pushing…” Alex says in his sleep. 

“Alex,” Melman says. “Hey Alex…”

The comedian awakens with a start, looking around frantically. 

Melman stands near his bed, looking nervous, as always. 

“What, Melman,” Alex questions as he shoves his thumb under the blanket. 

“So, um, you know I have that bladder infection and I have to pee every two hours,” the tall man starts. “Well I was awake and I just happened to peek into Marty’s room, I don’t know why I did that tonight since usually I don’t, but anyways I was looking and-“

“Spit it out, Melman.”

“Marty’s gone.”

Gloria, Alex, and Melman stand in Marty’s room.. 

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Gloria says as Alex rifles through Marty’s bed. “Where would he even go?”

Alex comes to a realization and stops moving. “Connecticut,” he exclaims. 

“He wouldn’t dare,” Gloria replies.

“We gotta,” Melman says, jittery. “I mean, we gotta, we gotta call someone!”

“He’s so stupid,” Alex yells. “Running away from a good job, you don’t bite the hand that feeds you, Marty! You don’t bite the hand!”

“Mm-hm, I know that’s right,” Gloria says. 

“He’s ruining his life. Just think of him out there, cold, probably confused,” says Alex.

Marty walks the streets of Fifth Avenue, a strut in his step. He puts his sunglasses on and adjusts the straps of his backpack, taking in all the sights of New York City at night. 

Alex and the others run out of their apartment building in their pajamas, shouting Marty’s name. 

“What’s the fastest way to get to Grand Central Station,” Alex yells. 

“Take Lexington,” Melman replies.

Alex and the gang arrive at the subway station, impatiently waiting for the train. 

“What did Marty say to you,” Gloria asks as the train arrives. 

“He said he wants to take a sabbatical to find himself and I told him that that’s crazy and he wouldn’t do it,” Alex yells back as they run into the train. They travel for a few moments in silence, then arrive at the station. The friends run out of the train, running over a performer’s drum set and cutting off an old lady, who gives Alex a smack with her purse. 

“Grand Central Station,” Marty says as he arrives. “It’s grand, and it’s central.”

Alex, Gloria, and Melman run up the stairs to the station as Marty reads the subway times. 

“Darn it, I missed the line to the airport,” he says. “I guess I’ll take the south line-“

He’s cut off by Alex tackling him into the ground. Marty lets out a yelp as his friend shoves him into the ground forcefully. 

“I got him!” Alex exclaims. 

“He’s got him,” Gloria repeats, then finishes running up the stairs and promptly runs into a group of people. Melman slips in a spill and falls onto the ground, sliding into a clock and causing the face to fall off. 

“What are you doing man?!” Marty yells.

“This is for your own good Marty,” says Alex. 

“Don’t worry, I’m fine. Look at me, I’m fine.”

“Oh, okay guys, he’s fine,” Alex says calmly, then yells, “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US MARTY?!”

“I was gonna come back in a week,” Marty responds.

Gloria and Melman are attempting to fix the clock and Marty attempting to escape Alex’s choke hold when the police show up. 

The next morning, the friends sit on a couch together as the comedy club owner paces in front of them.

“How do you think it looks,” he starts. “When my star and my employees get arrested at Grand Central Station for disturbing the peace?!”

None of them say anything. 

“I want to fire you all right now,” the boss states. “But I can’t lose my star. So, you’ve left me with no choice.”

Alex, Marty, Gloria, and Melman hold their breath in anticipation for what is about to come out of their boss’ mouth.

“I’m sending you all on a sabbatical.”


	3. Crack-a-lacking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang arrive on the island.

“I can’t believe I can’t work for a month,” Alex says as he drags his giant suitcase full of hairspray and spray tans through the airport. 

“I mean, at least it’s in Australia,” Gloria says, attempting to sound happy.

“Jus, just think of all the, the bugs, and the germs, and the strange diseases,” Melman says. “It’s, I’ll meet my end!”

“You’re not gonna meet your end, you hypochondriac,” Marty says as he walks several feet ahead of the others, a skip in his step. 

“How do you know he’s not gonna meet his end,” Alex replies. “You’re the one who caused this!”

“For the last time, it was not my fault,” Marty exclaims. “You’re the ones who assaulted me!”

“You gotta be kidding me Marty,” Gloria says. 

“Because you ran away and put our careers in danger,” Alex says, voice bordering on a yell.

“I had an appointment with Dr. Goldberg on Monday, I’m supposed to get my prescriptions filled on Tuesday,” Melman mutters. 

“Easy Melman, they have doctors in Australia,” says Marty. 

“You’re acting a little too calm considering this is all your fault,” Alex says. 

“I fail to see how this is my fault,” Marty replies.

“Again, you gotta be kidding me,” says Gloria.

The argument continues as they board the plane, then they sit in their assigned seats and ignore each other. 

The plane flies for hours, and the gang does their own thing. Gloria reads a magazine, Melman watches medical dramas, Marty watches a sitcom, and Alex fixes his hair and broods. 

They continue like that for several hours, until they fly through a thunderstorm. 

A loud beeping noise is heard, and the plane begins swaying wildly. The passengers scream as it dips wildly from side to side. The pilots tell everyone to sit down and be calm, then a lightning strike and metal being struck is heard. 

All hell breaks loose.

The plane begins descending rapidly as the passengers run around and scream. Some try to collect their things, while others hold their friends or loved ones. 

“Fasten your seatbelts,” Gloria yells as the plane hits the ocean. 

When Alex opens his eyes, it’s the middle of the night, and he’s strapped to a plane seat in the middle of the ocean. He thinks he should feel panicked, but he feels nothing except the desire to go back to sleep. 

When Alex opens his eyes again, he’s still strapped to a seat, but is very close to an island. His body reacts, and he attempts to jump up. He unfastens the seatbelt, hands shaking, then jumps off the seat and swims to the island, his mind in full panic mode. How did he survive? Where is he? Where is everyone else? Where’s Marty? 

He reaches the island and immediately spits out all the saltwater, then notices his hunger and thirst. 

“Oh fuck,” he says, looking around at the beach. 

He’s about to walk away when a plane seat with a very wet Melman on top washes up on the beach. 

“Melman,” Alex yells.

Melman wakes up with a start, then responds, “Alex?!”

“Melman,” Alex exclaims, running towards the freckled man.

Melman tries to undo his seat belt, but it’s stuck. Alex tries pulling him out, but of course Melman tightened his seat belt way too tight.

“I’m gonna get you out of there Melman,” says Alex as he jogs away. He returns moments later with a jagged stick. 

Alex raises the stick above his head, and Melman realizes what he’s doing.

“Alex, Alex don’t do this,” he implores.

“Seat belt, prepare to meet my-“

“It’s Gloria! It’s Gloria!”

Alex stops and turns around. Another seat has washed up on the beach. 

“Oh, it actually is Gloria,” Melman says, then collapses.

The woman is sitting on top of her chair, and she stands up and bends over, causing tons of little fish to fall out of her cleavage. 

“Alrighty boys, fun’s over,” she says as they fall into the water. 

“Gloria,” says Alex.

“Alex,” she yells back, running to him for a hug. 

“Marty,” Alex says as he looks toward the ocean.

The others turn around to see Marty, surfing on the waves, using the back of his seat like a surfboard. 

“Marty,” Gloria exclaims.

Marty comes to a stop on the beach and steps off the board. 

“Marty!”

“Alex,” he shouts.

They run towards each other, arms out, shouting each other’s names. Just as they are getting close, Alex’s expression turns. He lunges towards Marty, causing the other man to realize what is happening and run away. 

“Oh shit,” Marty yells as his friend chases him down.

“I’m gonna kill you Marty!”

They chase each other in circles for a few moments, then Gloria steps between them and grabs each of them by their shirts and says, “Hold on, hold on!”

The two men glare at each other, then calm down, avoiding each other’s gaze. 

“Look at us,” says Gloria, walking them over to where Melman is standing. “We’re all here together safe and sound!”

“Where exactly is here,” Melman asks. 

Realizing that none of them know that very important piece of information, the four turn around. A vast jungle looms, showing absolutely no sign of people. 

“San Diego,” Melman says. 

The others look at him in confusion. 

“White sandy beaches, lack of public amenities,” Melman continues. “I’m telling you, this could be San Diego.”

“San Diego,” Alex says despondently. “What could be worse than San Diego?”

“I don’t know,” Marty says. “This place is crack-a-lackin!”

He wanders around the beach, looking at the trees. “I could hang here. I could hang here.”

Alex looks towards Marty, then lunges after him again, yelling, “I’m gonna kill you Marty!”

“Take it easy, take it easy,” Marty yells. 

“And then strangle you-“

“Calm down!”

“Then bury you, dig you up and clone you, and kill all your clones-“

“Twenty second time out,” says Marty, huffing and puffing. 

“And then I’ll never talk to you again,” Alex yells.

“Stop it,” Gloria says, stepping in between them yet again. “We’re just gonna find the people, find a phone and get this all straightened out!” 

“San Diego, oh this is just great,” Alex says. “Now I’m gonna have to compete with RuPaul and his little bald head. I can’t top that! Can’t top that! I’m gonna be out of business Marty, and it’s all your fault!”

“Come on Alex, you really think I intended for all this to happen,” Marty replies. “You want me to say that I’m sorry? Is that what you want? Okay, I’m-“

“Shh.”

“He just shushed me!”

“Look, Marty, you gotta be just a little bit more,” Gloria starts, but is interrupted by Alex shushing her. 

“Don’t you shh me,” says Gloria, walking towards him, but Alex holds up a hand and does it again.

“Do you hear that? Don’t you hear that,” Alex questions. 

They all look towards the jungle, where faint techno music can be heard. They begin running into the jungle. 

“I hear it now,” Marty exclaims. 

“Where there’s music there’s people,” says Gloria. 

“We’re gonna find someone with the best computer there is,” says Alex. 

“A sidewalk would be nice,” Melman says, slightly out of breath. 

Alex runs into a vine and casts it aside, causing him to step on a thorn. He yelps and continues running directly into a spiderweb. He stops running, while the others continue. Alex attempts to get the spiderweb off of him, mentally cursing Marty. 

Gloria, Melman, and Marty stop in front of what looks like an enormous palace. The music is overwhelmingly loud. 

“Okay,” Gloria says to the others. “Let’s make a good impression on these people. Smiles everyone, let’s get it together.”

Marty shows off his winning smile, while Melman does his best impression of the Joker. 

“Good enough,” Gloria says. 

They open the doors of the palace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight-to-major canon divergence starts now.


	4. All Hail the New York Giants!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang meet Julien and his people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The introduction of Julien! He’s highkey my favorite character and I’m looking forward to using him more in the future.

Gloria opens the doors, revealing an enormous entryway where something that looks like a rave is happening. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of people are dancing and cheering. Some drink cocktails, some make out, some do...more than make out. 

“Wow, California people,” Melman breathes. 

A figure stands on the mezzanine overlooking the room. They emerge into the light, and the gang sees that it’s a man, or what looks like a man, wearing a neon green crop top, cut off denim shorts, and tons of earrings and bracelets, plus a garish crown. His white hair is slightly long and ruffled, his brown eyes outlined in smudged eyeliner. 

“What’s up my beautiful subjects,” he yells, and the people in the room cheer.

He dances to the best for a few seconds, then jumps off the mezzanine back-first, the people in the crowd catching him. 

He crowd surfs for a few seconds, then jumps onto a table where two go-go dancers dance. 

“All girls all over the world,” he yells as small fireworks go off behind him. “King Julien, what a people’s man! I love it when you people move your bodies!”

“What kind of castle is this,” Gloria whispers, as Melman says, “I just saw twenty six health code violations!”

“I’m loving San Diego,” Marty exclaims. “This place is off the chizzain!”

The king, or so the gang assume, continues dancing and grinding on the people. 

“We should have brought chips and dip,” says Marty, dancing along to the beat. 

“Wait a minute,” Gloria says. “Where’s Alex? He was right behind us, wasn’t he right behind us?”

“I don’t know where he is, but he’s missing one hell of a party,” replies Marty, still swaying to the music. 

Alex comes running up, still pulling bits of spiderweb out of his hair. 

“There you are,” Gloria says, but Alex ignores her and walks into the palace. The others shrug and follow him in.

The king sees them and stops dancing.

“Everyone be quiet! Maurice, do the introduction! The fancy one!” he shouts in an incredibly loud voice.

The people stop dancing, and the music turns off. They look at Alex and the others with curiosity and annoyance in their eyes. 

A stout man steps forward and blows into a conch shell. “Presenting your royal highness our illustrious King Julien the thirteenth self proclaimed lord of the island, etc etc. Hurray everyone!”

Several people holding large palm fronds pull them back in an order, revealing the king, who holds two leaves of his own and fans himself. He walks towards the New Yorkers, blowing kisses to the crowd and garnering applause.

“He’s got style,” Marty states appreciatively. 

“Feel free to bask in my glow. Anyways, who are you people,” Julien asks as he walks towards them.“Are you aliens? Savage aliens? From a savage future?”

“What,” Alex responds. “Uh, no, we’re from New York, and our plane crashed, and we were wondering if-“

A small child emerges from the crown and falls at Julien’s feet. He notices and begins kicking him away and saying, “Get away from the king’s feet Mort! Do not be near the king’s feet! Didn’t I tell you about the feet?!”

“He did tell you about the feet,” the stout man, apparently named Maurice, standing next to the king says. He looks like an assistant or advisor to the king. 

“Anyways,” says the king. “Tell me your names, savage giants!” Everyone ignores the fact that he’s taller than all of them except Melman.

“I’m Alex,” says Alex. “The Alex, and this is Gloria Marty and Melman.”

“Where did you say you were from again,” Maurice asks. 

“Uh, we’re from New York, and-“ Alex replies. 

King Julien holds up this hands in a T shape, then turns around and tells his people, “All hail the New York giants!”

The crowd cheers. 

“Are they all inbred or something,” Alex whispers to his friends. “We need to ask these bozos where their computers are.”

“Excuse me, we bozos have the computers,” Julien says from his position of laying on his back right in front of Alex. 

Alex startles and jumps back, and Julien jumps up and stands near Maurice again. 

“Oh, well, they have computers,” Gloria says.

“Of course we do,” replies Julien. He walks to the back of the room and points to a stack of destroyed computers, phones, and TVs.

“Oh,” Alex says. “Um, do you have any working electronics.”

“Uh, no,” says Julien. “They’re very bad for your health you know.”

“No electronics, huh,” Marty says, a smile growing on his face.

“Would you excuse me for just one second,” Alex says, backing out of the palace. 

When he’s out of the doors, he bolts towards the beach, Gloria on his tail. 

“We gotta get out of here,” Alex yells in a weepy voice. “We gotta get out of here!”

He’s just about to jump into the ocean when Gloria stops him. 

“I’m swimming back to New York,” he yells. “I know my chances are slim, but I won’t survive here!”

“You are not swimming back to New York,” Gloria yells as she attempts to pin him to the ground.

Melman dashes out of the jungle, leaves stuck in his chestnut hair. “Nature! It’s all over me!”

Gloria attempts to call Alex and Melman down while Marty celebrates in the back. He does a few clumsy cartwheels and runs around the beach, whooping and cheering and singing a song.

“I bet people are already on their way to rescue us,” Gloria says as Marty lands a split in the back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spare kudos ma’am?


End file.
